Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.
Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
A: It hasn't been tested on mice.
Q: What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?
A: We have to stop meating like this
Q. What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?
A. Someone who lost their veg-inity!
Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose intolerant.
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
Q: What's a vegan's favourite chat up line?
A: If I said you had the body of an all-natural, organic-living, animal-loving, environment-nurturing, whale-saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?
Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhoea?
A: A salad shooter.
Q: Why did the vegan cross the road?
A: Because she was protesting for the chicken, man!