Sunday, June 27, 2010

Vegan Pizza: A Slice of Heaven!

This weekend, I ate pizza for the first time since last year.

It was vegan pizza. I bought it at a wonderful joint called Valentino's in Kitchener. I topped mine with artichoke hearts, two kinds of onions, mushrooms and sun-dried tomatoes.

Oh my God. Where's Michael Landon when you need him? This truly was a Highway to Heaven episode...

If you're a vegan and you haven't had a vegan pizza yet, please, please do yourself a favor: Go out and try one right away.

Friends, I was going through some major pizza withdrawals. I know that not all vegan food rivals omnivore food on the Delicious Scale. For instance, I recently watched a crazy clip of Bruce Friedrich from People for the Ethical Treatment going on Fox News right before Thanksgiving 2009 and touting Tofurky, the legendary tofu-based imitation turkey. A right-wing radio talk show guy Mike Gallagher, fresh from devouring a fast food burger, verbally jousted with Friedrich over tofurky. I admired Friedrich for fighting the good fight. But, dude, I wasn't buying his sales pitch for tofurky.

I used to love turkey so much that I'm not even going to bother with tofurky. I have it on good authority (from my companion) that tofurky is a little iffy. Come on, Bruce! I know you mean well, man! But don't ask me to believe that tofurky is every bit as good as turkey. If you believe that B.S., I've got some land in Okefenokee Swamp I wanna sell you. Some omnivore foods simply aren't meant to be imitated by plant-based wannabes.

But this vegan pizza... I mean to tell you: It was out of this world.

Maybe it tasted so good because I was going through serious pizza withdrawals. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Valentino's just makes damn good pizzas. Or maybe I shoulda given vegan pizza a try long ago. Like vegan hot dogs, vegan pizza is truly as good as the real thing.

Incidentally, my companion loved it, too. I am still - to quote Katrina and the Waves - Walkin' on Sunshine. That vegan pizza kicks ass. Try it, if you haven't. If you don't have a vegan pizza joint in town, go buy the fixin's from the store and cook one up tomorrow.

It is quite amazing, the power of the almighty vegan pizza...

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